Being pregnant. With the Antichrist.

I have heard many people praise pregnancy as one of the most beautiful and amazing experiences a woman can go through. They describe it as though it’s a grande affair that we women should feel privileged to endure.  For some reason, women are supposed to aspire to pregnancy, like it’s some kind of life goal.

I’m sorry, what?

As much as I love and adore my 17 week old daughter with all my heart, I will say, she is a demon child. I’m not really sure how many total hours of the day I have spent huddled over the toilet seat because if I dared to move out of the vicinity of the bathroom, there would be breakfast, lunch or dinner splattered all over the hallways of our apartment. My first trimester was like getting food poisoning while simultaneously having an appetite similar to that of Sasquatch. Or taking 15 double shots of tequila and eating greasy pizza at the same time. Lovely. I remember going to the doctor’s office and having the NP (nurse practitioner) stare me up and down wondering where all my weight was going. Instead of gaining weight, I was losing. A lot. All because my baby girl decided it wasn’t cool to let mommy eat. My boobs were no longer breasts, they were the 8th and 9th wonder of the world. I had to get maternity clothes because my breasts were no longer fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes.  My bras don’t look like bras, they look like tarps threatening to spill whatever liquid substance they contained. My face routinely breaks out, clears up and breaks out all over again. So far, pregnancy is more like a combination of puberty and PMS on steroids. Did I expect this? To a degree. Would I change anything? Nope. It’s a part of nature that I’ve just got to accept and deal with. I felt my baby girl move the first time at 15 weeks. At first she felt like a little fish swimming around my uterus. It was surreal and beautiful. Now, it’s still beautiful and I get happy everytime I feel it, but now instead of being a goldfish, she’s a tap dancing ninja assassin whose victim is my uterus and for some reason, my belly button. She spends all day practicing her fight moves on my bladder. I still live in the bathroom. If I’m not rejecting food, I’m peeing. What’s crazy is, as much as it annoys me, it’s comforting. There are days when I forget that I’m carrying a life inside of me until I feel her little body flailing about inside of me. Nothing beats that.

Sorahya Moore.

My life in a nutshell.

I was recently looking over my blog and wash mildly shocked at how much my “about me” has changed in such a short amount of time. For starters, I finally don’t work at a fast food restaurant anymore. *whew*. That job was either going to be the death of me, or my coworkers. Something was bound to happen. Anyway, so much has happened in the past few months it’s almost caused some form of whiplash. I’ve since gotten married, and am now 17 weeks pregnant with a baby girl we have named, Kira. My husband’s name is Spc. Michael Moore, stationed in Fort Benning, GA. Married life is interesting. For now, that’s where we’re going to leave it. My life has changed SO much from the life it used to be and I’ve never been happier. I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I am truly happy. I’m going to make a habit of blogging more than once a week, I need something to do now that I’m temporarily not working. I’ll be ranting about everything from strangers wanting to grope my belly, my daughter tap dancing on my bladder, the annoying, amazing and loving person I call my husband and pretty much anything else I feel like blogging about. Hasta luego amantes!

 

Sorahya Moore.

I’m not gay..but my best friend is.

Something quite interesting happened the other day while I was at work. One of my coworkers told me I was homophobic because I didn’t approve of the way Adam Lambert paraded around society. I was told that I needed to broaden my horizons and stop being so close minded toward everyone and everything. Mind you, on my right wrist, I was wearing a rainbow band that said “Gay Pride”. Not but a little over thirty minutes later, a customer called me a “faggot” because of the same wristband. I’m not gay, but my closest female friend is a lesbian. Does that make me a bad person?

In Modern Day America, gays are regarded as lepers. They are mistreated, discriminated against and sometimes, they are even excluded from doing the things that everyone else can engage in freely. I grew up in a household chock full of social taboos, so when it comes to me accepting someone that lives a lifestyle that is different from mine, I’m not the first one to throw stones, regardless of how I feel about it. Maybe two or three months ago, a group I follow on Twitter, @wtfsexfacts, was talking about some woman named Megan Phelps. I’d never heard of her before that night, and I wasn’t going to pay it any mind until they told another one of their followers who she was. She apparently started a website called “God Hates Fags”. I didn’t know how I wanted to respond first. Did I want to be angry that this woman had the audacity to put “God” and “Hate” in the same sentence? Or was I more angry that she’d done the exact same thing I have encountered on more than one occasion, from both Christian and not. I spent the rest of that night talking to a new friend, Steven, a gay man about the sick and twisted thoughts and mentalities toward homosexuals. What I’ve learned from following him and having numerous homosexual friends, is what inspired me to write this blog.

What never ceases to amaze me, is the ridiculous amount of discrimination still present in Modern Day America. It is not only a shame, it is a mockery of all that is America. America was founded on the idea of freedom. Those that fled, fled because they did not feel safe, how then is it that some of America’s citizens can’t even walk outside of their homes without some insensitive republican (yeah I said it, sue me) shouting some kind of slur. How is it that some of America’s citizens, white, black, polka dotted, can’t even get married to the one they love?

I met my best friend, Tatiana Ramiro when I was 12, and she was 13. Immediately we hit it off. She was someone I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that I could trust. As the years progressed, I noticed that every boyfriend she had, she never really seemed to be attracted. She always seemed to be so distant from him and I would truly never understand why. So one day, I asked her what the problem was. I jokingly asked her, “Tati, do you not like boys?” and she looked up and me slowly, and shook her head, “No, I don’t”. My heart broke for her and I understood at once why she was going through such a depression. Much like me, she was forcing herself to like something she was just not into. She confided in me something I still, cannot comprehend. Every man she slept with, she did it to try to force herself into a mold she quite simply did not like. Tatiana was a lesbian and despite everything I’d been told, I was ok with that. Most people may have changed their behavior with a friend they discovered was gay, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to treat her any different than I had the years before. We still slept together, kicked it together and I still didn’t have a problem changing clothes in front of her. I admit, there were moments I’d wonder if she looked at me the way I looked at a boy. I never asked her, I never cared enough to. Tatiana is quite possibly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, and her sexuality has nothing to do with why I love her so much.

Something I have found truly disturbing, but will save for another post, is that MOST of the discrimination I’ve seen towards gays, comes from people it should not. Black people? We have no right to treat them like anything less than ourselves. Not but what? Fifty years ago? We weren’t even allowed to vote! Our ancestors were slaves, they were raped, beaten, murdered because of what? Their skin. Christians? You’re JOB is to love people, to understand that we all weren’t born with a stamp of moral approval on our foreheads like you apparently were, and yet, you show almost as much hate as the World does.

The West Indies is notorious for its inhumane treatment of Homosexuals and everything I listed that happened to blacks during the slave era, happens to them on a daily basis in Barbados. I’ve seen women gang raped, just because they are lesbians. I’ve seen men beaten within an inch of their lives because they choose to find love with a man, instead of a woman. What kind of world do we live in? Where a man is forced to carry a gun on him because someone is threatening to cut his penis off?

I have a few White friends, no one harrasses me for that. I have many Mexican friends, I get a few jokes, but nothing absurd. I have Asian friends, never got any BS for that. I have Native American friends, and not once have I ever been harangued. I have gay friends, and almost every single time we go out, someone has something to say. Dear reader, why do you think that is? America prides itself on its open ideas, it’s ability to be flexible and adjust to everybody. It’s famous for it’s desire to welcome anyone, well, almost anyone. As long as you fit what America is “supposed” to look like, you’re good. Two white parents, one male, one female two kids, one boy, one girl and a dog or two. If you even dare to step outside that bubble, you can kiss your safety goodbye.

Dear America, I ask you again, what has become of you?

Dear Mr. Officer…

May 16th, Detroit police raided the home of Charles Jones, 34 year old African American man suspected in the murder of a boy half his age. Apparently, there had been a shooting the previous Friday and as always, Detroit police sprang into action. The story that ensued is the stuff every parents nightmares are made of.

A flash bomb was thrown into the house, blinding all that were in it, dad runs downstairs, to find that there are police officers in his home, his mother is shielding his daughter, not but a few seconds later, a gun goes off. The bullet’s victim, seven year old, Aiyana Jones.  And just like that, everything he loved was gone. See it wasn’t just a baby girl that died, it was her dreams. It was her potential. It was the hundreds of lives she could’ve touched. It was the seven years of love that went into her, the 9 month gestation that was by no means comfortable. All died. The safety we once felt with police officers (well, I take that back) died as well. Aiyana took her family’s soul with her. What is so sad I can’t even say with a clear conscience that she’s “in a better place” yea ok, she is, but does she have to be there? Was she sick and dying? Did she have a terminal illness? No. She was a casualty, of American “justice”.

Now, upon hearing this, my heart immediately broken in two. My mind has yet to bend around the fact that an officer of the law murdered a little girl, for what? What was the purpose in setting a bomb off an anyone’s home under suspicion that he may or may not have been the criminal in question? (Un-suprisingly enough, Charles was NOT the man they were looking for ). On one end I’d like to say “It was an honest mistake” but there is nothing about this that was, “honest” or nothing that would even make this a “mistake”. They knew exactly what they were doing,  abusing their authority. I highly doubt that they bombarded the Jones home with intent of murdering a seven year girl and I doubt they intended on being some of the most hated individuals in the country. But I will stand by the notion that they knew and understood protocol.

Now, I’m not too proud of saying this, but I’ve had more than a few run-ins with 5-0. It’s never a pleasant ordeal, but along the way, I learned a bit about how they run things. And upon approaching a suspects house, the first thing they do, is approach the door, secure the area, be sure that SOMEONE is home and then proceed to break the door in, I mean, knock. I have NEVER heard of the police throwing flash bombs, tear gas, pepper bombs or even shooting at a house unless there are gunshots targeted toward them. So what about this situation was so different? What went through these officers minds that made this ok?

I can only imagine the pain Aiyana felt as the bullet pierced through her. I’ve been shot, not fatally, but hell, I know what it feels like. That burning feeling, just before it sinks in that you’ve actually been shot. You don’t really get a true feeling of the pain it until cool air hits it. She didn’t even get that chance.

There is truly no greater love than the love between a parent and his/her daughter. To look at that child and know that you and another person created one human being. For mothers it is especially unique because for 9 months, you carried that human being. You felt its first movements, you fed it its first meal, you protected it from any harm and danger. It depended on you for everything. There is nothing more intimate than birth. Nothing more life changing than hearing your child cry for the first time. Nothing more intimidating than your child staring into your eyes for the first time. And there is no greater pain than the knowledge that your child, your baby, your pride and joy, your hope, your dreams, is dead. It is entirely unnatural for a father to have to bury his daughter and a mother to cremate her son. There is nothing natural for a father to be forced face down in a pool of his 7 year old daughters blood. There is no amount of consolation that can make the memory of clutching your grand-baby’s body to your chest praying to God that what you’re seeing isn’t true.

What were those officers thinking? When they saw what they’d done? Were they more concerned with the fact that they’d killed an innocent child, that they attacked and hunted down the wrong man? Or were they more concerned with what they news might say? As of now, nothing has been said, on CNN, MSNBC, FOX nothing. When they see their own children now, will they remember the face of a dead little black girl? Do they even care?

Do you?

Dear Mr. Officer, all eyes on you.

American Diplomacy At It’s Best.

Webster defines a crisis as “a situation that has reached a critical phase”. What better word to describe the impending race explosion that has presented itself inevitable? When I first heard about this, I laughed. “This can’t serious, what kind of joke is this” was my immediate reaction. How could America, the land of the free, the self proclaimed melting pot allow such a law to be passed?

Before I continue this entry, I should probably explain what is going on. Basically, in Arizona, an addition to their immigration law pretty much says that is ok to stop anyone that gives the officers a “reasonable suspicion” of being an illegal immigrant. How in the world do you plan on doing that officer? What does an illegal immigrant look like? What do they talk like? Do they wear a sign that says “HEY, I’M ILLEGAL!” on their shirts? Of course not.  There are advocates for this malarkey stating that this law is not about race, it’s about upholding the law. The only way an officer would be able to “identify” an illegal immigrant would be solely off of race and language. But it’s not about race right? Bullshit. It’s discrimination. It’s racism at its best. Before Mexicans were getting educated, before they had good, dignified jobs, white people had no complaints. They didn’t care about the illegals crossing the border because it was on their backs that the state was being built on. What changed? Why is it that all of the sudden, it is legal to stop a Mexican-AMERICAN for looking Mexican?

Another disturbing development is that AMERICAN’s with an accent can no longer teach English classes in Arizona. Time out. Just what accent are you talking about? I live in Georgia and I have heard some of the thickest, scariest country accents working at Burger King. I can barely understand a word they are saying to me sometimes. Every group of people I have ever come across, whether it be Hispanics, Blacks, Whites, Asians, Arabs or Native Americans have had some kind of accent. American’s from the East and West coasts have accents. So what accent are they talking about? But it’s not about race right? I, myself have a terrible accent at times, but I love language. I love the way it sounds. I am currently having a love affair with words, but if I lived in Arizona, I couldn’t teach it. Since I began taking English classes, I have excelled, receiving nothing lower than an A in every single one. But I couldn’t teach it, because I speak a little differently.

Republican, Duncan Hunter says that “It takes more than walking across the border to be an American Citizen”. Let me ask you sir, what do you think YOU did? The original colonists did the exact same thing that Mexicans are doing now. They escaped to America due to religious persecution, they were tired of being treated as second rate so, they dipped. Came to North America and massacred the people that were rightfully here. What amazes me, is the entire southwest belonged to Mexico before white people invaded Texas and claimed that as theirs too. So I ask, what makes an American? From what history tells me, an American takes advantage of a weaker people. It takes and destroys what is not rightfully their own. An American has no regard for those around them. An American gets they want because they feel entitled to do so. Mr. Hunter, I’m proud NOT to be an American.

What worries me the most about this law is that if this can get passed in Arizona, what stops them from harassing everyone else? They could come to Georgia and say that all the Black men here are drug dealers and the Black women are prostitutes. What stops them from going to Florida and stopping Cubans and Puerto Ricans for being illegal as well? Or Arabs on the “suspicion” that they are terrorists? What amazes me, is that in all this, white people yet again, go unscathed, unthreatened. And yet, this country isn’t a white supremacist nation right? America has shown a disturbing trend. It abuses, enslaves, rapes, degrades, destroys those that helped it become all that it is. They slaughtered the same Native Americans that saved their dying asses when they first got here. They enslaved, discriminated against and murdered the Black slaves that built the South despite their blood, sweat and bashed open heads. They forced the many European workers that came here to live and work in the most horrid conditions. My grandmother says “Don’t feed a stray dog, it will keep coming back and eventually, it will bite you”

America, what has become of you? What was once a safe haven for the “tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to be free” has become the last place they should be. This country was built on the backs of immigrants, but now they are becoming targets for blatant racism. And for what? Doing the EXACT same thing that the first colonists did. Republicans are talking about deporting the children born to illegal immigrants, natural born AMERICAN citizens. Hey, newsflash! That means YOU NEED TO GO HOME TOO! What happened to the idea of America? The pursuit of happiness? How can Mexican-American’s pursue that happiness when they are constantly in fear of being apprehended, harassed or otherwise by the police? America has no right to call itself a melting pot. I wouldn’t even grace it with the title of “tossed salad”.  I don’t know what to call it anymore.

Hello world!

As the title suggests, this is my first blog.  A little about me, I’m an 18 year old employee as a fast food restaurant that will not be mentioned unless I get really upset.  I got the idea for this blog after seeing a man walk up to drive-thru and ask for a big mac, after being informed that were not the store that sold them, he got genuinely upset and threatened to call the police. Of course this was an empty threat as we he was more than likely intoxicated, or something like it.  The voice behind the drive-thru box rarely is given a personality and I hope to serve as that medium through which you can see who and what we are dealing with.

Welcome to  the Foolishness in Drive Thru.